i like this

[rover]

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found Him. It was the seventh day and He was resting. Michael enquired of God, "Where have you been?" God pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look what I've made" said God. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God" and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call the planet Earth and its going to be a great place of balance. "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing down to different parts of the world, "For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people. The Archangel, impressed by God's work, looked over it some more then pointed to another area of land and asked, "What's that?" "Ah," said God. "That's the North of England, the most glorious place on Earth. All the people there will be magnificent and beautiful. There will be seven great cities in Yorkshire alone, and many impressive towns. It will be the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from North England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will also be known throughout the world as speakers of truth." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!" God replied, a little wearily, "Wait till you see the set of wankers I'm putting down South!!
sorry to all down south