Lets play: XCOM - Enemy Unknown (2012)

[RichardWhitely]

It's time for another Lets play! - This time I have a go at the new XCOM: Enemy Unknown game

So here we go, lets create some awesome looking soldiers with awesome names - behold!





All of my soldiers look like the two above, ALIENS WILL PISS THEIR PANTS WHEN THEY SEE MY SQUAD - behold, here is a full list of my soldiers:





Right, now we have our awesome looking soldiers lets get cracking with the first mission:



Oh noes, Alien abductions reported!



Lets head to Kansas, screw the slanty eyed chinese:



Oh yeah, our awesome looking Squad gets ready for action:

Rob Fay, Richard Whitely, Bob Holness and Davina McCall



OMG HOT PINK ARMOR SQUAD ASSEMBLE!



BEST MISSION NAME EVER



ALIENS PISSING THEIR PANTS AT THE SIGHT OF THE AWESOME SQUAD LEAVING THE SHIP



SEE, THEY ARE PISSING THEIR PANTS



Richard Whitely fires on the aliens and misses



Richard Whitely has another go at firing his large weapon



KABOOSH - HEAD SHOT



Bob Holness takes a shot and BOOM ANOTHER HEAD SHOT



OH NOES! Rob Fay takes a shot to the head



Richard Whitely takes the nuclear option and takes out the last two aliens - REVENGE IS MINE!



WHOO!



Bob Holness takes a P for PROMOTION



AWOOGA! AWOOGA! Commander to mission control



Blah, blah, blah, boobs



boobs. sorry, lost concentration at this point



Yeah, they pressed the button that says "ON"



Hes not scottish:



Yeah, lets build that, whatever the hell that is - screw medkits, I dont need those. The awesome pink armor will protect my team from harm!



BEST SUBTITLES EVER



Oh, okay, do they want to know when I want my bins emptied?



I'd like my bins emptied on a Wednesday please...



So you don't want to know about the bins? They are starting to smell...



BINS! MAN! BINS! WEDNESDAY!



Maybe she can empty the bins:



Kelly Brook stands in for Rob Fay while he spends 9 days getting his face fixed after being blasted in the face



OKAY LETS MOVE PEOPLE. WE NEED THIS PERSON TO EMPTY OUR BINS



Slenderman detected! AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH



Bob Holness charges forward to take out the slendyman



Davina McCall takes up the rear, uh huh huh huh huh huh



Kelly Brook goes up the right flank uh huh huh huh huh huh



Slendyman takes aim and fires



Whitely goes "FUCK THIS" and whips out his rocket - "EAT MY ROCKET SLENDY MAN!"



BOOOM!



With slendyman gone - the team moves up to find this woman that can empty their smelly bins



PEW PEW PEW PEW Another alien shows up



Harrrr he missed



Bob takes aim



BOOM! HEADSHOT



LOL - what is he doing?



Oh right, hes shooting that alien



Richard Whitely, firing at an alien at near point blank range and missing



OW MY FACE



LOOK WOMAN, WE ARE BUSY GETTING SHOT BY ALIENS, SHUT UP AND WAIT A MINUTE



Richard lets fly with murderdeathfacebullets



Davina runs forward to rescue the woman and asks her, "So how do you feel after 52 days of being in the big brother house?"



Confused, the woman rushes off to the rescue plane in a bid to get away from the crazy woman



A slendyman tries to block our escape attempt:



Bob Holness says "I will take a D for DEATH"



OH YEAH!



So close to the rescue plane and another alien blocks our path:



Richard shoots him in the face:



WOW!



Successful mission!



ONWARD TO SUCCESS NEXT MISSION



For the next few screens - please listen to this music in the background: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TQUdcYk82U





















'MURICA FUCK YEAH!







MAGNIFY! ENHANCE! WE NEED SOME CSI SHIT GOIN ON HERE



ZOOM IN ON THE UFO LICENSE PLATE. SOMEONE GET ME THE DVLA!



I337 BBQ... MOTHER OF GOD, THEY HAVE A CUSTOM LICENSE PLATE NUMBER...



We need that license plate, it will look awesome on my SMART car



AWESOME SQUAD, ASSEMBLE!



Kelly Brook, Bob Holness, Davina McCall, Rob Fay!



Lookin good...



ALIENS PISSING THEIR PANTS

[RichardWhitely]

The awesome squad takes up their positions on the field:



A bit of a scramble here - off screen two aliens manage to flank the awesome squad...



OH GOD NO! Kelly Brook takes an alien blast to the face and falls down critically injured, if only we had a med kit!



Well, we cant help her, lets teabag her and then move on



Holness takes an R for REVENGE



He misses



This is not going well...



Whitely fires and takes revenge finally after 3 missed shots



Kelly Brook finally bleeds out and dies. Rob Fay immediately panics



Davina McCall takes up position to clear out the remaining aliens



WHOO!



Lookin good



BOOM!



Holness takes an M for MURDER



YAY - Team awesome is back in the game



WE RULE



A moment of silence for Kelly Brook



Do they now want to know about my bins?



Okay, maybe not - onward to the next mission!



Richard managed to set fire to biscuit isle in the local supermarket - due to a fuck up with grenades, Bob Holness legs it out of there



Rob Fay saves the day and stuns an alien. Then spends the rest of the entire mission on overwatch guarding said stunned alien. His work is done



Richard is bored now and decides to leave the supermarket to burn down



These aliens are no match for AWESOME SQUAD



Bob Holness takes a H for HEADSHOT



He misses



Rob Fay: "The alien is still stunned!". Good job Rob, Good job...



Richard Whitely makes an awesome shot



AWESOME SQUAD SAVES THE DAY... AGAIN





ZERO F U C K S GIVEN



And so that's some of the first few missions in XCOM. Having a lot of fun so far and its definitely like the original XCOM games. Definitely recommended, definitely .

[Tricky]

LOL @ pink soldiers WTF!

[Arathrael]

Oh yeah, our awesome looking Squad gets ready for action:

Rob Fay, Richard Whitely, Bob Holness and Davina McCall

Damn you. I look like a pink wurzel.

OH NOES! Rob Fay takes a shot to the head

Damn you!

Kelly Brook stands in for Rob Fay while he spends 9 days getting his face fixed after being blasted in the face

Damn. You.

Kelly Brook finally bleeds out and dies. Rob Fay immediately panics

Grrrrrrrr.

Rob Fay saves the day and stuns an alien.

Yes! THAT'S MORE LIKE IT!

Then spends the rest of the entire mission on overwatch guarding said stunned alien. His work is done

Damn you.

Rob Fay: "The alien is still stunned!". Good job Rob, Good job...

CURSE YOUR SOCKS.

[Arathrael]

BTW, I give this review an N, for Nice.