Lets play: The Sims Medieval

[RichardWhitely]

Released today in Yankee land - the sims take their unique brand of wackyness to the medieval times - yaaaaaaaaaaaaay

We start off by naming the Land - I named mine: Gnarly Gnarlington Land



Now lets create a king - whoo!



Epic name - WINNING! - Lord Charlie Sheen



Oh its also the law that everyone must have EPIC beards and be a drunkard its the law (you'll see the beard later, its hidden by a box for now)



In ma castle, checkin out da pimpin throne room WITH A BAR!



Chewin the fat with ma homies in da castle: (check out the beards)



It's an important duty of a king to know how to pick flowers apparently: Don't ask, its just how Lord Charlie Sheen rolls



I CHALLENGE THEE TO A DUEL YOU UNCOOTH VARLET!



WINNING! (I think!)



I carefully inspect the ground while a subject tells me of a bully in my kingdom, A BULLY! SURELY NOT! THIS MUST BE STAMPED OUT!



So I find the bully and stick them in the stocks - like wot any good king should do!



And throw eggs at them:



A bard comes to my castle! A quest tells me to give the bard a flower... errrrrrrrrrrrr... THIS IS HOW WE ROLL IN GNARLY GNARLINGTON LAND! FLOWERS FOR ALL! ITS THE LAW!



It's been a busy first day as a king, lets have some food which I make myself... er, hang on!



We don't seem to have invented spoons yet... SO THIS IS HOW WE ROLL, WE EAT WITH OUR HANDS, ITS THE LAW!



Next day after a nights rest, we build a monastery and hire a priest, called Brother Jack Hackett, he is also a drunkard, THIS IS HOW WE ROLL...



Apparently Brother Jack is praying with a fellow monk - no they are not playing pat-a-cake with each other, they are praying!



After a hard day of pat-a-caking... err praying, Father Jack passes out on the courtyard of the monastery



Smelly pits and eating with his hands in church, THIS IS HOW BROTHER JACK ROLLS



Sleeping all day, this is how Brother Jack rolls... you get the idea...



Brother Jack did a sermon for the king, it did not go so well....



Errr. Moving swiftly on, lets create a knight for defence of our shiny new kingdom!

Due to a naming fuckup, hes called Sir Sir Loinsteak (dont ask)



Hes a big lad too...



Back with Lord Charlie, he decides the best way to connect with the populace is to write a speech and tell them what the want! YAY!



This speech goes well, especially with the court jester...



So I gave the speech in the town square!



Meanwhile Sir Sir the knight goes off boar hunting - as you do



WINNING!



Time to build a pub! YAY!



Lord Charlie comes to inspect the pub at 5:20AM on a Sunday morning and immediately starts drinking ale and cider, because thats how he rolls...



By 9:39AM he's pissed...



By 10:10AM he's passed out on the upstairs floor of the Tavern...



And so that ends the first 45 minutes of The Sims Medieval, quite a fun game actually! . It's made more awesome by the fact Captain Picard narrates the introduction to the game! . Buildings are slightly limited in that you can't design the castle yourself or indeed any of the buildings, you can decorate them of course and move around the standard furniture that the buildings come with if you so wish. I'm guessing through time you will be able to expand your castle and kingdom although I have not got far enough myself to find out. Plus you can always send your subjects to the stocks or even to their deaths by throwing them in the monster pit .

[RichardWhitely]

The 1st day patch is probably needed - so here it is:

http://akamai.cdn.ea.com/eadownloads/u/f/sims/sims/patches/TheSimsMedievalPatch_1.1.10.00001_Update.exe

Also if you want to play the game without a disc - here is the nocd patch

http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/6264085/The.Sims.medieval.v1.1.only.crack-TRiViUM_

There is a mini image on gamecopyworld.com - just mount that in daemon tools or alcohol 52%/120% no need to copy over any no-cd cracks once the mini image is mounted and will be able to patch the game as soon as any patches become available.